Men Who Cook

“The shoemaker has the worst shoes in town.” I’m certain most people heard this old adage about professionals who don’t have time or energy to apply their trades to their own lives. In my line of work, an owner of a busy Italian restaurant, nothing can be further from the truth. I actually enjoy cooking at home. Knowing my way around a kitchen is certainly an advantage, so preparing a home-cooked meal is definitely much easier for me than most. I also have the benefit of a ready supply of ingredients from which to pick and choose. Along with baking our own breads and preparing our own sauces; our meats and produce are delivered fresh daily. For me, after working a dinner rush at my restaurant, cooking at home helps me catch my breath. In my kitchen at home, I can transition from the beastly pace of a frantic kitchen, to being a somewhat tolerable human being. Working in a busy, well-organized restaurant demands a tremendous amount of attention to detail. Cooks work in a culinary automaticity to present identical meals that no matter how creative the dish is, the entire meal from prep to service must be defined and controlled. But at home, I am free to improvise, to create something different in whatever time frame the meal requires. Luckily, I inherited a taste for the simple recipes of my family’s southern Italian ways of cooking, which significantly cuts down preparation time. I look for simple recipes with few ingredients, adding spices and herbs as to not mask the flavor, but to gently coax any hidden flavors out of the main ingredient. I often combine two or three different recipes of a dish, taking what I like from each. Many of the dishes I serve in the restaurant have come about because of this experimenting with multiple recipes.

But why are so many other men taking up spatulas and grill pans and starting to talk recipes with each other, especially since most men I talk to have no culinary background other than perhaps washing dishes in a restaurant or delivering pizzas while in high school. Everyday I talk to more and more men, who are taking an active, if not lead role, in the preparation of their family’s meal. And they seem to be enjoying it. The types of men joining this culinary revolution, along with their reasons why are as varied as there are different shapes of pastas. Perhaps the simplest of reasons is the change in the family structure over the last few decades that brought on a significant realignment in traditional roles. In previous generations, the kitchen at home had been the domain almost entirely reserved for women, but in this fast-paced new century, families are free to develop whatever plan makes the flow of their lives easier. As far as I see, I have heard no complaints from men or women on the subject. A man cooking in the kitchen is now seen as active and confident. Women certainly see men who cook as a positive part of their lives.

Another reason is the sharp rise in dominant male television celebrity chefs. With the introduction of reality television shows such as Hell’s Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay, and cooking networks such as the Food Network with chefs like Bobby Flay and Mario Batali, cooking is easily accessible. These chefs are not cooking up complicated Julia Child recipes with never-heard-of-ingredients. Whatever the reasons, a man cooking in the home kitchen adds depth and flair to the dinner table. Every cook has a different repertoire of recipes and a different approach to cooking. With husband and wife sharing the cooking of meals, each night’s dinner is a culinary adventure.

A great dish for men to prepare is risotto. Veneto is famous for its rice dishes. While pasta is very popular, many Italians prefer rice. Although the recipe is easy, risotto requires constant stirring, and upwards of forty-five minutes to cook. But risotto's smooth, creamy flavor makes the time well spent. The risotto's gentle stirring and easy pace hints at a man's confidence, and at least for a short while, the total control of his life. Along with sharing a bottle of wine, the combination of the risotto's aroma and gentle stirring is calming, sort of hypnotic, or meditative, pulling you in, and inspiring conversation.